


A Helping Hand

by AmaranthPrincess21



Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Cutting, F/M, TW: Self Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 11:16:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4833374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthPrincess21/pseuds/AmaranthPrincess21
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is stressful between working several jobs and taking care of your younger brother. Stress only seems to rise and with no one to help you, there's only one thing that brings you solace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Helping Hand

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request from DA user AbbitsaChan.

There were absolutely no words to describe how amazing it felt to know someone else at Ouran High School that was also a scholarship student. Sure, there was your little brother Shiro but that didn’t count and besides, he was in a different grade than you and he wasn’t around for you to hang out with. Not that you didn’t want him around, but he could be demanding and as his caregiver, you were practically his mother so hanging out with him wasn’t all that great either. 

“So then my dad dragged Tamaki-senpai out of our apartment and that was the end of that,” Haruhi was saying as she hid with you in the makeshift kitchen of the host club. You nodded as she spoke, focussing on mixing up some cream cheese frosting. 

“Maybe you should talk to Tamaki. This is the fourth time this month that that’s happened,” you pointed out. Haruhi sighed with a shrug. 

“I will once I get the chance, but he’s in high demand today and I haven’t been able to talk to him at all,” she said. The door opened and Hikaru poked his head in. The butterflies in your stomach fluttered around aimlessly and you buried yourself in work, hoping to hide any blush that might have popped up.

“Haruhi, Kyoya-senpai says if you don’t come out he’s adding another ten thousand yen to your debt,” he announced and Haruhi choked. She quickly stood up and made for the door. 

“See you later! I have work to do!” she called as she left, closing the door behind her. You expected Hikaru to go after her but surprisingly, he stayed. He even walked over to you, hands in his pockets.

“How’s the food coming along?” he asked.

“It’s going good. Just waiting on a few cakes to finish up in the oven,” you told him. 

“You know, I’ve never seen frosting get made before,” he commented as he leaned against the counter.

“Really? It’s not that fascinating,” you tried to brush it off like it was a simple task. It was, but getting colors and tastes right could be a huge pain. “Do you mind being my taste tester for this batch?”

“Don’t mind if I do,” he said. You grinned and grabbed an extra spoon. 

“Tell me how it tastes and if I need to work on anything,” you said, handing it over to him. He took it and dunked it into the bowl. He liked it clean and paused, savoring it before swallowing.

“I don’t think I got a good first taste. I need another one,” he said, moving towards the bowl. You laughed and knocked his hand away.

“At least get a clean spoon!” you scolded him playfully.

“I don’t have time for that.” He kept going for the bowl and you kept batting him away, giggling and telling him to stop it while the butterflies in your stomach flew around in a frenzy. The door opened and Kaoru stepped in. You and Hikaru stopped and your face flushed. That wasn’t the prettiest moment to catch you two in.

“We have some girls that want our company,” Kaoru announced. Hikaru nodded and put the spoon in the sink. 

“The frosting’s perfect. I’ll see you later,” he said, giving you a small wave as he went to join his brother.

“Yeah, see you later,” you replied. 

  
  


“You have a balance of twenty-thousand yen. Thank you for using our bank,” your bank balance read after you paid the bills and the part of Shiro’s tuition that wasn't covered by his scholarship. 

_Only twenty-thousand?! How am I supposed to buy groceries with that kind of money,_ you thought as your heart raced.  _Oh God, what am I going to do? I don’t get paid for another two weeks! How am I supposed to feed us with only that?!_ Acidic, salty tears burned in your eyes as you hurried home, racing up the apartment building stairs and into the small space you called home. You threw open the bathroom door and slammed it shut before tearing apart your toiletries bag, desperately digging for the one thing that could bring you relief: a razor blade. 

You clutched the thin, sharp metal in your hands and in one swipe made a line across your wrist. Stinging pain shot through your body and died as fast as it came as the scarlet blood rose from the wound. Your heart started pounding in your chest and the sweet relief of nothingness rose through your body. And for one moment, you forgot about money problems, work problems, anything and everything on your mind. All you could feel was release and all you could see was bright red blood bubbling up from the cut. 

“Sis, Kaoru’s on the phone!” Shiro knocked on the bathroom door, ruining the moment.  _Shit, I can’t let him see this!_ You threw the blade into your bag and quickly dabbed at the cut with some toilet paper.  _Damn it, why now? I didn’t have nearly enough time!_ You threw the bloody tissue into the toilet before opening the door. Shiro held a small pay-as-you-go phone out to you.

“Thanks,” you said as you took it from him. He promptly left. “Hello?”

“Hey, it’s Kaoru. Listen, we’re going out to dinner and we were wondering if you want to come with us?” he said.

“Who’s ‘we?’ And where are we going?” you asked.  _Maybe if I just buy the bare essentials and no snacks, I could afford to have a little treat with them._

“Hikaru, me, and Tamaki-senpai. We’re going to the small bistro at the edge of town,” he said and your hopes sunk.  _Really? That place makes you pay an arm and a leg for just a small cup of tea._

“I’m sorry, I can’t go,” you said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I have -”

“Kaoru, what are you doing?!” you heard Hikaru’s voice waft through the other side of the call. Kaoru’s hand flew to the receiver and landed with a loud  _slap,_ but it didn’t block out the conversation between the two.

“You weren’t going to call her so I did!” Kaoru replied.

“I told you she was going to say no! Don’t get my hopes up for nothing!” Hikaru cried.  _He . . . he wants me to go?_ A flare a joy went through your body and the butterflies in your stomach started up. 

“Well I thought it was worth a shot!” Kaoru retorted.

“Let me talk to her! I’ll convince her to come!” Tamaki cried from somewhere near Kaoru. The twins groaned.

“If anything, you’ll convince her not to come,” they said. Kaoru removed his hand from the receiver and spoke to you.

“Sorry about that. That sucks you can’t come, but maybe next time?” he asked.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll try to next time. See you later.” You hung up with a heavy sigh.  _The one time I could hang out with him and have a nice dinner with him and I can’t because of stupid money issues._ You looked back at your razor as it gleamed in your bag. Instinctively, you reached for it.

  
  


You tugged on your uniform sleeves the next day, sitting across from Haruhi as you two ate lunch. Where you had cut last night were sore and although you’d cleaned and bandaged them, they still hurt even today.

“Yeah, Tamaki-senpai was saying you had been invited too but said no,” Haruhi was saying.

“Mmhm. Kaoru called me and asked, but I was too busy studying to go. Not to mention how expensive that bistro is,” you confided in her.

“I know. It’s ridiculous how much money they charge. I know they would have paid for my meal, but I don’t want my debt going deeper and frankly, I don’t want to go somewhere that has such high prices,” she said. 

“Exactly!” 

“We’ll just have to take them out to somewhere affordable,” Haruhi said. She paused. “I know you would have enjoyed having dinner with Hikaru.” You sighed and picked at your meager lunch.

“Maybe next time, you know?” you said.

“Did I just hear that right? You want to go out with Hikaru?” You turned around to see a few girls standing behind you, lunch trays in hand and disgust on their faces. 

“Yeah, so what if I do?” you retorted, glaring at them.

“Oh honey, you’re so far out of his league,” one said.

“You’re just a scholarship student. There’s no way he’d be interested in a poor girl like you,” the other said. 

“Really, you should give up and save yourself from embarrassment. I mean really, it’s pathetic.” You bolted straight up from your seat and ran out, missing the girls’ laughter and Haruhi chewing them out. Tears were raining down from your eyes as you desperately searched for a quiet place to cut. You threw open a storage closet and once the door was shut you let loose, sobs wracking your body as you slumped against the wall. Slowly, your body slid to the ground and you reached into your wallet to pull out your emergency razor. There was only one thing that could get rid of the pain now.

Lightning fast, you sliced your arm up, several stinging cuts lining your skin and blood oozing up from the wounds. But the release wasn’t enough. Their words still tore you apart and you kept cutting, trying harder and harder to feel the sweet release. It wouldn’t come.

“Why isn’t his working?!” you sobbed, staring at your bloody arm. “This always works!” The door opened and you froze, eyes widening as Hikaru stepped into the closet. 

“What happened?!” he demanded, taking a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbing at your cuts. His eyes caught a glimpse of the razor and the color drained from his face. “Why?” he asked softly. You sniffed.

“I-I . . . I don’t have anything else to lessen the pain,” you choked, trying to contain your sobs. “I have too much to worry about and there’s nothing that can take my mind off of everything like this.” 

“Next time that happens, just give me a call and we’ll go out and do something to take the pain away,” he said before pausing. “Give me your razor. I don’t think you should be using it like this. It’s dangerous.” You sniffed again but complied, handing it over to him. It wasn’t something you wanted to do but in that moment you didn’t want to fight him. Hikaru chucked it into a trash bin. “Haruhi told me what happened. You shouldn’t listen to those girls. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

“Oh God, she told you?!” The tears came back in full force and your face flushed. “I-I’m so sorry, I -”

“Why are you apologizing? You don’t have to apologize for a crush.” He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking away from you. “This is probably a bad time to ask you out, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t matter to me,” you said, wiping the tears from your eyes.

  



End file.
